'...It's The Courage to Continue That Counts' - Winston Churchill
I think one of the things I'm learning (legit daily) is to pace myself -- to really focus on the present moment or task at hand, to actively engage and activate my process, and (the hardest part) to remove my expectations of what I think things should look or be like at the end of the day, project, event, or whatever. To enjoy the journey.
Let's be honest, there are SO many variables in the world, every second, of everyday. The only thing we can REALLY rely on is how hard we work, individually, and how much we are willing to put on the line. I mean, of course, I WISH that everything would go perfectly in the right way that landed my lifelong dream tomorrow but the reality is that's just not real...or most importantly...healthy.
When I was a little girl, I danced religiously every day -- like (i'm assuming) most of you do. I trained and trained and trained and all I wanted was to win that scholarship, get that one teachers attention, or be noticed by my 'idols' and it was really really really really really REALLY hard when NONE of that happened. lol. I would go into a workshop or convention weekend with (very) high expectations, all of this built up anticipation of them calling my name at the end of the weekend to tell me 'I WON' -- but guys it didnt happen...weekends and weekends and weekends would go by with the same outcome. It was literally depressing. lol. [I later learned that literally the definition of insanity is literally -- 'doing the same thing expecting a different result.' HA!] To my dismay and long time torture, I realized this. Finally when I was 16 years old I decided I was gonna go into a convention weekend not GIVING any care to anyone else...I didn't care who watched, me who didnt watch me, I kept my little eyeballs focused right in front of me. I DID NOT CARE -- and I remember this day so vividly because I was truly doing things differently -- in my mind. I was successful according to me and that was all I cared about.
Well naturally...I won! Not just a scholarship but the biggest award of the weekend! Interesting right...This was a turning point for sure -- recognizing that when I didn't 'CARE' as much I managed to come closer to the thing that I wanted. It was great -- for the weekend and for the next year or so but 'the bug' came back but this time with higher stakes -- Nationals, then College, then SYTYCD, then TV/FILMS, And on and on it went and so it goes -- basically it doesn't go away. The desire to have and achieve goals, for me, won't ever go away. I've come to grips with that. But...
I've found a process, with the help of my extremely patient husband; to set my mind regularly, to stay in the 'present' with an attitude that is grateful no matter what crazy stuff happens. Knowing and accepting that I have control over only the things I have control over. I have developed resilience and patience and gratitude for what I DO have -- discarding the negative thoughts about what do not. And I'm committed to the truth that no matter what, I will NEVER GIVE UP.
Well I'll leave you with a little quote that inspired this post. By THE Winston Churchill.
Have a great week ya'll (...I'm in Alabama lol)